
My first problem was that I couldn’t figure out how to open this little magical door. There was the little door I knew the nozzle went in. Luckily I’d pulled up to the gas tank on the correct side. I stepped out of the small faded red Honda Civic. I was going to have to figure this one out all on my own. If you want to reach me I suggest you hang up and text me.” Her voicemail. Laughing at myself I listened as Braden’s voice said, “I’m not available. My tank was so empty I’d coasted into this small service station in some beach town in the middle of nowhere. The fact I couldn’t pump gas had never crossed my mind. I’d simply hugged her and watched as she ran off with her new husband, Kent Fredrick, and crawled into the back of a limo. Find your life, Della.” I’d been so caught up in the awesomeness of her gesture that I didn’t think to ask anything else. When she’d shoved her keys into my hand earlier today and told me that she wanted me to “Go explore. She was on her honeymoon and I hated to interrupt her though. I’d call Braden and see if she could talk me through this. I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone. Pumping gas had not been something I needed to know until now. And I’d only actually had a car to drive for five hours. I had only had my driver’s license for three months. When Braden had given me her old car and told me to get out and see the world, neither of us had thought about the fact that I didn’t know how to fill it up with gas. She had just been so scared… of everything. As crazy as I knew she was, she needed me. Because getting my freedom would mean losing my mom. They would figure out that I wasn’t some strange child who wanted to stay inside all day and refused to come out into the real world. I had always thought someone would realize my mother wasn’t all there. The guilt wasn’t enough to keep me from imagining my freedom. It wouldn’t stop me from thinking about it, though. Most days when I let my daydreams turn to this moment, I’d feel guilty. Maybe not the exact way it was happening. I always knew that one day this would happen. I should get up and go clean this all off myself but I couldn’t. She was cleaning the blood from my hands with a wet washcloth and tears were streaming down her face. I blinked away the memories and stared up at Braden, my best friend. They’ve taken her body and it’s time to leave this house, for good. Maybe I was scared after all… scared that they would take you away. You needed help and I didn’t get you any. Please don’t take… please don’t take my sunshine away.ĭon’t stop singing now, Momma.
